Starting over is one of the most challenging things a person can face. I've done it twice, and I can tell you from personal experience that there are two ways to approach it. One is grinding—pushing forward with sheer willpower. The other is surrendering—letting go and allowing God to lead. Spoiler: one is far better than the other.
The Grind: My First Attempt at Starting Over
When I first separated from my ex, I was in survival mode. A single mom with a three-year-old in daycare, I was making just $35,000 a year. My mental health was hanging by a thread after years in a toxic marriage. On top of that, I was living in an apartment I couldn’t afford. I felt like the ground beneath me had completely given way.
To cope, I decided to grind. I focused all my energy on my career and business. I pushed and pushed until I went from earning $35,000 to $100,000 a year. I bought a house and enrolled my daughter in private school. On paper, it looked like I was thriving.
But the truth? I was still in the desert. Despite the financial wins, I was exhausted, depleted, and disconnected from God. I was clinging to my own strength, and it wasn’t enough to bring peace or healing.
The Second Earthquake
Years later, another storm came—my divorce and child custody battle. This was a grueling, four-year process that took everything from me. The house I had worked so hard to buy? Sold to pay lawyer fees. The career I built? Lost to the stress of court battles and single parenting.
This time, there was nothing left to cling to. The grind method wasn’t an option anymore. I had no choice but to let go and let God take over. And that’s when everything changed.
Surrendering to God: A Better Way
When I finally surrendered, God stepped in. I let Him take control of my finances, my custody case, my healing—everything. It wasn’t easy, but it was necessary.
Here’s the incredible thing about God: He doesn’t just carry you through the storm; He leads you to green pastures. When I trusted Him, He only brought back what truly served me. He restored my life in ways I couldn’t have imagined.
Now, I’m on a solid, unshakable foundation. I don’t fear the next storm because my life is built on trust in God, not my own strength.
Learning to Trust God
If you’re starting over after a divorce, my advice is simple: don’t grind your way through it. Instead, surrender to God. The easiest way to start? Learn to hear Him during your Bible study time. That’s how He speaks, loves, teaches, and guides you through the chaos.
A Resource to Help You
If you’re wondering how to begin, I recommend the Faith-Filled Bible Study Workbook. It includes guided prophetic Bible studies, corresponding notes, and beautifully designed blank pages for your personal reflections. For just $4.99, it’s a great tool to help you learn to hear God and trust Him as you rebuild your life.
No matter where you are in your journey, know this: God is with you. He sees you, loves you, and has a plan for your restoration. When you let Him take control, you’ll find the freedom, peace, and purpose you’ve been searching for.
God bless you on your journey to freedom!
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